A French Minibreak - Part Deux



The agenda for our second day looked like this: go to Parc Saint Paul, knock out the coasters as quickly as possible and fuck off to Disneyland for the rest of the day. Considering how quiet the parks were on our first day I figured we'd be at PSP until 1pm, the latest. Wrong. We arrived and the park was absolutely HEAVING! I couldn't figure out why, but seeing as there was literally nothing we could do about it we parked up and just sucked it up and joined the throngs of people queuing for a ticket.

Turned out not to be so bad and people were just faffing and hanging around in that non-chalant DGAF style Europeans have, and we sauntered straight up to the SELF-SERVICE TICKET MACHINE! Oh yes, I can so get on board with these. Why don't more parks have them? It has only just dawned on me how behind the time theme parks are still having manned ticket desks.




There were 7 coasters to ride here (alright, 6 and one dubious one but I'm a whore for counting coasters so it was happening) and we started off our day on Aérotrain, a kiddie Vekoma not-quite-a-boomerang thing. The queue took a lot longer than expected (a pattern we would repeat 7 times today), but we amused ourselves by looking at the various silly bits of theming and pondering why the park was so so busy. I like parks to have people in them, because it means they're doing well and doing well means more rollercoasters in the future, so its beneficial to me in the long run, but today I really wished everybody would just fuck off so I could get me some Disneyland action.








The next few coasters were a serious of unsubstantial +1s, including a Zamperla Mini Mouse, another Spinning Wild Mouse and the best themed Big Apple I've ever been on, whose queue was hilariously interrupted by Conor barging through with a food tray full of weird yellow hotdogs and frites <3. I suppose the only things really of note were the Pax coasters, a Russian company whose designs somehow deliver some serious airtime despite appearing to look like every other bland kiddie coasters. So they were fun, and I'd probably have ridden them again if the queues weren't so hideous. Oh and the last coaster-but-not...thing, called Telepherique, which was essentially like a zipwire from a playpark but on a track, with a station. So it looks coastery, it does coast, it's probably not a coaster but it's on my count anyway because that's just the kind of person I am.


The queue for one of the Pax coasters was next to the 'Teen Disco' and it was here we discovered why the park was so heaving. Someone called 'Soprano' was performing today, and apparently he's a big deal in France (he's a rapper, so I'm told). Well, at least it means Disney will be empty (probably).

So much later than anticipated we jumped back in the car and headed further south to Marne la Vallée and Disneyland Parc <3. Parc Saint Paul was quite nice, thinking about it. A woodland setting is always a plus in my eyes and there was plenty of natural beauty to distract from the hideousness of the garish funfair facades catalogue bought rides insist on coming with. And it gave a hefty +7 to my count so that's not to be sniffed at!




We arrived at the apartment of one of my best friends in the world, who selfishly has decided to go and live the dream and work at Disneyland instead of continue being miserable in London for my convenience. Rude. Their flat is fab, who doesn't want to live on the gloriously manicured Disney property overlooking one of the most beautiful theme parks in the world? By the time we'd faffed and had some drinks and such it was 5pm before we set foot inside the Walt Disney Studios, where we obviously bee-lined for the Hollywood Tower Hotel. Not my favourite version by a long way (Florida holds that honour) but a Tower is a Tower and still one of my favourite rides in the world, even if I do know it word for word by now. 





Oh, and the park was dead. Most rides were walk on apart from Crush's Coaster, whose queue I have never seen drop to a reasonable length, and our other destination for Park 2, Ratatouille. The queue wasn't hideous at 40 minutes but I had another park to whisk round so single rider it was! Annoyingly I got put in the back row of the train so some of the effects were lessened but I still love this ride! So much fun. It appears Paris DO sometimes get nice things.





And with that we sauntered over to the beautiful Disneyland Parc herself. I adore this park, it's just beautiful, especially on a balmy summer's afternoon such as this. It's just such a pleasant environment to be in. Now, the park is undergoing some major refurb at the moment in preparation for the 25th anniversary in a few years, so I steered well clear of Discoveryland (the most affected area at present) as there's nothing that kills the magic more than bloody construction panels everywhere. A necessary evil though. 




Conor insisted upon It's A Small World, and seeing as it was walk on we endured. There's something weird about being the only group in the boat on this ride and I was left feeling fairly creeped out rather than magically inspired to bring peace and harmony to the world. 

I think we headed over to Pirates next, but all the time having our eyes peeled for the elusive Maleficent Minnie ears, that I saw last time I visited but foolishly didn't buy as I thought I could get them in the World of Disney shop on my way out =[. Having no luck, and the queue again being walk on, we jumped in a boat and set sail for the Caribbean. Paris Pirates is my favourite version by far, and not just because it hasn't been Jack Sparrowed yet like the others, I just find it the more thrilling ride. 

AJ wanted to see the Frozen Sing-A-Long show in English so we grabbed an overpriced but perfectly on theme blue slush and went to head into the arena, only to be told no food or drinks. What? Why? Such a stupid rule, everyone wants to slurp down on some disgusting blue drink that are SOLD OUTSIDE THE ARENA whilst watching Anna and Elsa sing, don't they? So dumb. Anyway, after quickly finishing and giving ourselves a brainfreeze, we headed up to our reserved seating (perks of visiting with cast members) and endured Let It Go for the umpteenth time. The show was fine, I'm not a massive Frozen fan but the staging was good and the sing-a-long portions were fun, plus there was 'snow' at the end so it was nice.




The dreaded time had come upon us where we must now choose somewhere to eat at Disneyland Resort Paris. Anyone who has been before can tell you, the food here, generally, sucks. Big time. The restaurants lure you in with their giant theming and pretty lights only to serve you some pre-heated slop in a bun and charge you €20 for it. So I'm always wary of where I eat when I visit. AJ and Michael suggested Billy Bob's Buffet in the Village as somewhere acceptable and seeing as I hadn't tried it before we thought we'd give it a go. I would definitely eat here again. Loads of BBQ style food, constantly replenished because it's so busy so everything is fresh, and CORN BREAD. This place can be added to the very short list of acceptable places to eat at Disneyland Paris, yay!









After another fruitless search for Maleficent ears we headed back into the park for some night-riding on Big Thunder Mountain and to get a good spot for Dreams, now with 100% more Frozen! As always Big Thunder was made 100 times better under cover of darkness and Dreams was magical. I could watch this show over and over again, one of my favourite Disney shows ever! The only thing spoiling it for me this time were the rude children who had decided that a flowerbed was an acceptable place to stand and enjoy the show and bloody phones and selfie sticks being shoved in my face (this did not end well for the owners of these devices). So happy they're being banned next month <3.

And with that our fews hours at Disneyland Paris were over and we slowly sauntered out of the park and headed back to the apartment. It's always funny to me visiting the park for such a short amount of time because I can't shake the feeling that I'm missing stuff, despite having done it all a million times before. Disney just has that effect on me I suppose!

Part 3 up next involving a longly awaited return to Parc Asterix!


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