After finally visiting on Saturday, I can safely say Psycho Path, the north east's biggest scare attraction located near Newcastle-upon-Tyne, is the UK's most unique scream park. Every year I try to visit new-for-me attractions and last year some friends and I agreed that we would finally make a visit up to Psycho Path happen. As with most of these things, I did very little research so I really had no idea what to expect: only that Psycho Path was a scream park setup with a reputation for doing things a little differently. And, after years of doing this, 'differently' is like music to my ears!

After more than a decade of doing this now, as much as I love getting back to my old favourites year-in, year-out, there's something about visiting a new-for-me event that just hits differently. Located at Thornton Hall Country Park on the Lancashire/Yorkshire border, SCREAMS! opened its doors as a brand-new Halloween event last weekend, promising the ultimate Halloween night out including food, drink and live music in the SCREAMS! arena as well as roaming scare actors and, of course, three fresh scare attractions for us to scream our heads off inside. 

The location, which has previously hosted other Halloween events like Screamfields, is idyllic. It's what I would call a 'family fun farm' by day with the usual cute animals to pet, playground equipment and tractor rides but because the grounds and location are so lush they also host a lot of weddings and things too. The whole place just has a 'premium' feel about it, especially with the three horror mazes which are brand-spanking new and purpose-built for this very reason as opposed to being housed in a repurposed shed or outbuilding (not that there's anything wrong with that of course!)

The atmosphere was great from the minute we entered - you're greeted by fireballs shooting into the air and live music welcomes you through into the SCREAMS! arena. I was a little worried that with just three haunts to get through we weren't going to be here long, but the arena is the perfect place to hang out before, after or in-between to debrief over a pint about what you've just endured. 

This is also where we first met some of the 'colourful' characters in the roaming team - a reminder from the minute you start chatting to them that this is indeed an 18+ event as they are not at all courteous or kind with their topics of conversation, but very entertaining for it. The costuming is great too - it's not the basic scary clown or twin dolls etc that you've seen before, everything just feels more elevated and theatrical which is nice as a break from the standard scream park set menu. 

First house of the night for us was Malkin Manor. Joined by infamous haunted location explorers The Haunt Hackers, we enter the depths of the legendary Malkin Manor to uncover the truth behind the Manor's cursed legacy. Firstly - the facade of this thing is stunning. All lit up and glowing in ghostly purples, pinks and blues with lighting and smashed window effects, it does a fantastic job of setting the scene and immersing you into the Malkin Manor legend before even entering the building. I've noticed a trend recently of attractions putting more effort into their facades which is great to see and Malkin Manor is a stand-out in this. 

The creeps and spooks begin in the pre-show itself, with glimpses of ghostly figures appearing as the lead vlogger relays his spiel of what we're about to get into - then it's one giant jump scare and we're into the house itself. And it is beautiful - if you love a haunted house aesthetic this is absolutely the one for you - all ornate gothic/Victorian furniture, elaborate wallpapering and ghostly curtains and veils. 

The scares come thick and fast without feeling chaotic or without direction. The actors were very good, everybody had a part to play and was exactly where they should be without it feeling too scripted like, say, a Halloween Horror Nights house might. And with good reason - the scare attractions at SCREAMS! are mazes in the very real sense. Given the reduced space within which to work, the design of the house means you'll find yourself in multiple dead ends, wandering back through rooms you've already been through and maybe even genuinely finding yourself a bit lost. Not only is it a fantastic use of the space but also adds an extra layer of peril, as if being ambushed by various poltergeist wasn't enough to keep you on your toes. Brilliant. 

Next up was Jinxed where we're invited to head backstage at a New Orleans Mardi Gras style carnival lead by Jinx himself: New Orlean's most terrifying jester! Look, I appreciate you have to give the people what they want, and for some reason for the most of the horror-loving Great British public what they want is scary clowns. Year in, year out, scary clowns, forever and always. But what I always love is when an attraction takes note of this, and makes sure they do something different with it so we're not just seeing the same old thing that's been done a hundred times before. The SCREAMS! team have delivered something unique in Jinxed: it's giving American Horror Story: Freak Show meets Mardi Gras and I am absolutely here for that in every way possible. 

The sets are gorgeous - really beautifully dressed with a vibrant Mardi Gras colour scheme that somehow never feels tacky. The creatures within are truly grotesque too - just when you think you've seen every scary clown mask going, here's SCREAMS! with faces and shapes I've never seen before. I really loved the classic 'freak side show poster' vinyls for the disorienting maze portion instead of the red and white flaps we're used to seeing. 

There's a ton of unusual shapes and use of space here too: one minute we're rounding an octagonal tent setup, next we're near enough scaling up the walls fun-house style. It's totally disorienting and once again, loads of fun to get lost inside - unhinged clown fun-house with a bit more grit and edge to it.

Which leads us nicely on to our finale horror maze of the night and arguably SCREAMS! masterpiece: the formidable Blackmarket. Even the name is terrifying - it's short, sharp and to the point, sinister but understated, revealing just enough to get your heart racing but holding enough cards close to its chest that you have literally no idea what's going to happen in there, only that it's going to be bad. 

Queueing for this thing and watching each person who enters before you pathetically turfed out the other end, a shell of their former self, is both excellent queueline entertainment and horrific foreshadowing. I could spend hours just hanging out at the exit to witness each person's reaction to what the hell just happened to them. 

Themed around the trade of human meat, Blackmarket takes us on a journey through a gritty underground rave that all goes a bit Hostel and we find ourselves bagged up, bound and dragged along an actual abbatoir conveyer belt, hands above head. Oh, and whilst all this is going on you're being mercilessly berated by the faceless goons inflicting this misery upon you. It's degrading, heart-palpatating stuff and something I've never before experienced in a horror maze, and something I was very excited to get to do given how rare it is these days for me to try something new in one of these things. 

For me it was 'extreme' in the right way - they leave you wandering aimlessly and then standing alone cluelessly just long enough for your heart to begin beating rapidly, palms sweating. It blurs the line between actual degradation and torture artfully - anything more and it would be too much for many to endure, anything less you'd be in the zone of overhype. It's a fantastic attraction, and one I feel everyone will be talking about with regards to scare season 2024. 

Devastatingly we completely missed the Pumpkin Patch, which anyone who knows me really stung once we'd left and its existence was brought to my attention as I'd have very much liked a moonlit wander through the haybales!

And that was it for our night at SCREAMS! Considering this is opening year of a new event started from scratch it's incredibly strong. What the team have achieved in just a year is nothing short of phenomenal work - three excellent, high quality mazes, all with a different flavour of fear to cater for all tastes. And from what I understand, this is just the beginning - I have high expectations for what we'll see next from the team at Thornton Hall but for now, if you haven't already please do try and squeeze in a visit to SCREAMS! this year before the event finishes on October 31st. Tickets are only £20 which is an absolute bargain in my opinion for some of the best and most innovative haunts I've seen in the UK this year.

___

Have you visited SCREAMS! already this year? Or maybe you went to one of Thornton Hall's previous events like Screamfields? Let me know your thoughts in the comments, I'd like to have a chat!

Talk later xoxo,

Popping up every October at the National Forest Adventure Farm just outside of Burton-on-Trent in Staffordshire, Screamfest is a rustic, classic-style Halloween scream park hosting five themed scare mazes as well as interactive horror experiences, live music, rides, street entertainment and more. As with all of these events, there's only so many I can squeeze in every year so after a year away in 2023 I was very keen to get back to the farm to dive back into some old favourites but, most anticipatedly, to experience their brand new for 2024 maze: Hellcatraz.

We visited on a Thursday night, which I don't think I've done before and would absolutely be something I'd recommend. We had a fantastic time, the event was fully operational and we got to experience everything you'd get on a weekend visit but with a fraction of the crowds, meaning we could really take our time and soak it all in without feeling too pressured or overwhelmed to cram everything in. 

The event is quite 'extreme' in the vibe it creates: there's heavy dubstep playing, beers flowing, a street team of unhinged actors interjecting filth and jumpscares into conversations you're having as you gather with friends and terrifying jack-o-lantern scarecrows looming over you as escaped inmates cage dance in the background. Cosy, autumnal vibes this ain't, but if you're looking for something with a bit of edge Screamfest absolutely has you covered. 

The line-up was largely similar to my last visit to Screamfest back in 2022, so I'll link you to my thoughts on those here as my thoughts on these remain the same as not much, if anything, has changed in those attractions we've experienced before. Instead, I'm going to focus the bulk of my review on sharing my thoughts with you about the two new-for-me things we got to experience this time round.

As extraterrestrstrial beings escape from containment after 100 years, we must take up arms and join the operation to take out the threat and save the world. And by that I mean, get on a trailer hooked up with guns that's pulled along by a tractor and shoot the hell out of some 'aliens' with paintballs. And yes, it is as fun as it sounds. It's all very silly and camp - I loved the pre-show that took itself deadly seriously juxtaposed with the grand reveal of the tractor slowly lumbering around the corner.

We board, load up, and drive through several scenes with light 'apocalyptic' theming with barrels, corrugated iron and general debris for the 'aliens' to shield themselves with and let rip. The attraction is a £10 upcharge and I believe you get roughly 60 paintballs included with that, which you do get through very quickly if you're trigger happy and keen to void the world of the threat of alien scum like I am, but you can purchase refills live on board if you'd like to (believe me, you will want to). 

As silly and tongue-in-cheek as the whole setup was, this was just so much fun. I was a bit sceptical of the whole thing initially - it sounded faffy to me and I was also concerned at the ethics surrounding the premise of shooting painful paintballs at what I presumed would be teenage scare actors on minimum wage. But my fears were quickly quelled as the pre-show and loading onto the actual mission vehicle (tractor trailer) took about five minutes and I found out after-the-fact that we were indeed not shooting at reluctant scare actors but actually at members of a local rugby team who a) volunteered for this and b) absolutely love every second of it. So great, fun all round and something I'd highly recommend for the small upcharge!

Listen, if there was ever an attraction set up for failure with me personally, it was always going to be Hellcatraz. I mean, how dare you stand where she stood? And by she, I of course mean my beloved Love Hurts, my all time favourite scare mazes and one I've had a pretty intense connection with since the first time I darkened its doorways, and one I was devastated to see leave the line-up of Screamfest following my last visit in 2022. So with that in mind, please understand the significance intended when I say that Hellcatraz is a very worthy replacement. It is, by all definitions, excellent. 

In the early-to-mid 2010s, there was a shift in horror maze trends to the more extreme: of isolation, actors that could touch you, separate you, push you around and degrade you. In a post-Covid world, scare maze attraction design called for a bit of a rethink about getting up in people's grills: attitudes around hygiene and contact with others had been completely flipped on its head, and as such we saw that reflected in the types of haunts we saw in years to follow.

Coming out of Hellcatraz reminded me of coming out of those iconic Thorpe Park Fright Nights mazes like Experiment 10 or Cabin in the Woods at FRIGHT NIGHTS for the first time back in the 2010s. Not in look or theme or stylisation, but in how it made me feel. 'We are so BACK', as the kids say. It was weirdly nostalgic, I've not felt my heartbeat race or palms sweat like that in a very long time in one of these things, so kudos to Hellcatraz for illiciting that reaction from me because I am a dry old stone these days in that aspect. 

And on top of that...the thing is gorgeous? It's Hellraiser meets The Cube in terms of theming - gorgeous rusty tones drenched in blood-red lighting - I would absolutely loved to be able to have a quiet walk-through just to take it all in fully without demons ordering me around and marching me towards the exit. Its very intense, it's a feast for the eyes and is just generally a lot of fun if that's what you like in a horror maze like I do. I just wish we could live in a world where it could co-exist with Love Hurts because I think then I might never leave the event...

___

All in all we had a brilliant evening at Screamfest Burton. As mentioned, I do try not to overdo it with visiting too often - absence makes the heart grow fonder and between waiting a year to visit again alongside the addition of Hellcatraz it was the perfect time to go back to what has always been one of my favourite Halloween scream parks here in the UK.

Have you visited Screamfest before? What's your favourite maze? Let me know in the comments, I'd love to have a chat!

Talk later xoxo,

Our second haunt of the weekend last week took us to the excellent FEAR Scream Park, located in the South West of the UK just outside of Bristol. This was my third time visiting this event, with two new attractions since I last darkened their doorways back in 2021 so I was very excited to see how things had changed in just a few short years. 

Similarly to Tulley's Shocktoberfest, FEAR has a very 'music festival' vibe in its setup - with the entire park itself dotted with pop up bars, streetfood and bonfires giving the whole place that delicious crisp Octobery smell throughout the whole event. Fitting, as the event are known for their iconic fire show which clearly inspired many a UK scream park after they debuted theirs, and it's something that still draws crowds years on, albeit with updated visuals and music nowadays, courtesy of the legendary Archie Music. 

Something that always stands out to me about FEAR is the atmosphere they create. Their roaming street team of deranged freak show residents torture guests wandering through trying to make their way from maze to maze so the air is punctuated with shrieks followed by maniacal clown laughter. That combined with the bonfire smell, lights and flames in the air and a great soundtrack is an absolute treat and it's hard not to just wander around soaking up the vibe. 

But of course, there are haunts to talk about! As always I'll review these in the order we experienced them and my spooky pumpkin factor is based on how scary I found the attraction overall. 

My first new-for-me attraction at FEAR was The Exorcism. Going in blind promptly at 18.15PM that evening, I knew nothing about this thing other than it wasn't a horror maze and it's been widely praised by scare enthusiasts across the country, so I was very eagerly to discover what awaited within. 

I want to try not to spoil this too much because honestly, sitting in there knowing nothing of what was to come is arguably what made it so very excellent to me. Essentially you're taken off in small groups and sit in a dark attic room accompanied by a priest, a nun and some poor soul strapped to a bed possessed by some sort of demon, and we witness an exorcism play out. And oh my god, it is the most scared I've been in a scare attraction in years. The small cast of just three actors were excellent at playing off of each other and very convincingly delivered the entire unholy scene - I was absolutely captivated by all three of them.

It's the intimacy that makes The Exorcism so terrifying. Small groups in a fairly large, very dark room leaves you feeling extremely exposed, and the way all three of the actors move around the room amongst the set pieces and the shadows combined with the way we're sat in a circle means you really do not know where they're going to come from next. 

There's also a ton of excellent special effects in there that amplify the already terrifying scene playing out before us - again I won't go into detail as I don't want to spoil anything but there were some serious WOW moments that had my jaw on the floor. Given this is the attraction's second season I'm very surprised we haven't seen these pop up elsewhere in the UK as we know how scare attractions love to inpsire one another!

I really can't praise The Exorcism enough. It's got hauntingly beautiful set-design, mind-blowing special effects, brilliant actors and above all, it's absolutely petrifying. Kudos to FEAR for doing something so excellent and for bringing something so original and unique to the UK scare circuit, it really is a jewel. 

A kind of sister (pun intended) attraction to The Exorcism, Malefica sees us enter the belly of the Sisters of Mercy Church which is unfortunately overrun by the tortured souls of the sisters who met their tragic end in the flames. Why are nuns so bloody spooky? I don't know why but they really are. Winding deeper and deeper through the excavation site of the church itself we move through several rooms within the church - a crypt where a nun literally crawled out of a wall in front of me and fell at my feet which was absolutely vile, a congregation of creatures sat waiting in the pews for us to squeeze past and the finale - which again I will not spoil but it's an absolute showstopper. 

The team at FEAR really understand how to create a spectacle in their attractions and the ending of Malefica is a testament to that - again it had us WOWing our way through the screams as we made our way to the exit. 

The next three mazes we did, VITA NOVA, X4 and The Core, live in a slightly separate 'land' within the park known as the Republic of England - an alternate timeline where a dictatorial totalitarian government reminiscent of George Orwell's 1984 have taken over and are enforcing their horrific regime. Again - I'm very surprised we haven't seen other scream parks do this because it's just another way FEAR elevates itself thematically away from other UK scare attractions and goes that extra mile with their storytelling, which I feel really amplifies the impact of the mazes themselves. 

Anyway - VITA NOVA! I think on my Instagram story I said it's like The Smiler meets the current government and I stand by that. It's not post-apocalyptic, but it is sci-fi in the same way that things like Brazil and Clockwork Orange are. Uncanny in that it feels similar to our current timeline but just a tine bit too fantastical to be non-fiction. 

VITA NOVA is very unique in its theme - all bright neon lights, stark white walls and mirrors. It feels very dystopian and futuristic in there, bleak and soulless juxtaposed with the over the top, intense and sickly smiles of the residents within reminding us to take our VITA NOVA so we can live in a state of Euphoria in the Republic of England. It's sadly so disturbing because it really hits home in the current climate, and even more so because you largely experience this attraction alone as you're split up at the start! It's not intense jump scares like Malefica, more a slow burn of an overwhelming sense of dread that creeps up on you throughout. 

When I say FEAR do things differently, no attraction exemplifies this more than The Core. Set within an abandoned sewage plant, this maze is unique in that guests have to don waders as some scenes are submerged in water. Yep, you read that right.

Sadly, I'm one of what I assume is the minority of FEAR guests who have experienced Below at Walibi Holland's Fright Nights which I believe inspired The Core, so wearing waders in a horror maze was not a first for me and so some of the novelty factor was lost there but that is speaking for me personally. I am very glad to see something so different like this available for us to enjoy right here in the UK and I will always appreciate a maze that completely turns the horror attraction formula on its head like The Core does. 

The Core is a beautiful attraction - it feels incredibly real, like we really are submerged in sewers underground. It's really hard to believe that this is all a set created just for us and it's a testament to how the set design at FEAR just gets better and better with every attraction. Storywise this one wasn't my favourite as I did find it hard to follow, but to be honest I may very well have been so distracted by the whole putting on waders and getting in the water thing that I missed half of the exposition. I do feel like the maze just ends without any kind of major finale moment like some of the other haunts at FEAR have, but again I was having so much fun trudging through each scene that I was sad to see the (literal) light at the end of the tunnel.

I remember the X4 marketing campaign so well that this maze has become kind of iconic to me. I loooove me an alien maze, and I don't actually think they're utilised enough at scare events. Please can aliens become to new obligatory clown maze, or do not enough people find aliens as pant-wettingly terrifying as I do? 

Anyway, once again the FEAR team really go out of their way to ensure that what could be a run-of-the-mill straightforward haunt into something way more theatrical. We walk through scenes of scientists testing in labs, we see the alien test subject behind bars as a security breach plays out (I will say here I do miss the original Extra-Terrorestrial inspired scene here...), we board a Sub-Terra style elevator that takes us underground, we're forced to blindly navigate one of those horrendous fog chambers. It's all these little things that work together to ensure X4 is not only memorable in its own right, but that it has it's own distinct flavour from the rest of the attractions at FEAR, even if it also falls under the Republic of England sub-plot of the scream park.

I know I'm like a broken record at this point, but I always feel the need to caveat that clown mazes really don't do it for me, and I know I'm in the minority vs. the general public who love themselves a creepy clown show. House of Clowns is fun - for me the most memorable part is the ridiculously catchy soundtrack and the really gorgeous hand-painted wall graphics. It's a hoot to bounce through after the more intense attractions in the park, so it's one I always try to keep until the end, as a bit of light-hearted dessert after the horrors. 

___

So yes, another absolute slam dunk of a year for FEAR. It's easy to see why this scream park gets so much praise and it's genuinely exciting to wonder what they're going to do next as they always come with something completely new and out of the box. The variety of the attractions at FEAR is second to none in the UK and if you're looking for more innovative, inventive haunts that do things you haven't seen anywhere else and you haven't already then I implore you to visit FEAR Scream Park. It's like nothing else we have in this country. 

Have you visited Fear Scream Park before? What is your favouroite haunt? Let me know in the comments, I'd love to have a chat!

Talk later xoxo,