After more than a decade of doing this now, as much as I love getting back to my old favourites year-in, year-out, there's something about visiting a new-for-me event that just hits differently. Located at Thornton Hall Country Park on the Lancashire/Yorkshire border, SCREAMS! opened its doors as a brand-new Halloween event last weekend, promising the ultimate Halloween night out including food, drink and live music in the SCREAMS! arena as well as roaming scare actors and, of course, three fresh scare attractions for us to scream our heads off inside. 

The location, which has previously hosted other Halloween events like Screamfields, is idyllic. It's what I would call a 'family fun farm' by day with the usual cute animals to pet, playground equipment and tractor rides but because the grounds and location are so lush they also host a lot of weddings and things too. The whole place just has a 'premium' feel about it, especially with the three horror mazes which are brand-spanking new and purpose-built for this very reason as opposed to being housed in a repurposed shed or outbuilding (not that there's anything wrong with that of course!)

The atmosphere was great from the minute we entered - you're greeted by fireballs shooting into the air and live music welcomes you through into the SCREAMS! arena. I was a little worried that with just three haunts to get through we weren't going to be here long, but the arena is the perfect place to hang out before, after or in-between to debrief over a pint about what you've just endured. 

This is also where we first met some of the 'colourful' characters in the roaming team - a reminder from the minute you start chatting to them that this is indeed an 18+ event as they are not at all courteous or kind with their topics of conversation, but very entertaining for it. The costuming is great too - it's not the basic scary clown or twin dolls etc that you've seen before, everything just feels more elevated and theatrical which is nice as a break from the standard scream park set menu. 

First house of the night for us was Malkin Manor. Joined by infamous haunted location explorers The Haunt Hackers, we enter the depths of the legendary Malkin Manor to uncover the truth behind the Manor's cursed legacy. Firstly - the facade of this thing is stunning. All lit up and glowing in ghostly purples, pinks and blues with lighting and smashed window effects, it does a fantastic job of setting the scene and immersing you into the Malkin Manor legend before even entering the building. I've noticed a trend recently of attractions putting more effort into their facades which is great to see and Malkin Manor is a stand-out in this. 

The creeps and spooks begin in the pre-show itself, with glimpses of ghostly figures appearing as the lead vlogger relays his spiel of what we're about to get into - then it's one giant jump scare and we're into the house itself. And it is beautiful - if you love a haunted house aesthetic this is absolutely the one for you - all ornate gothic/Victorian furniture, elaborate wallpapering and ghostly curtains and veils. 

The scares come thick and fast without feeling chaotic or without direction. The actors were very good, everybody had a part to play and was exactly where they should be without it feeling too scripted like, say, a Halloween Horror Nights house might. And with good reason - the scare attractions at SCREAMS! are mazes in the very real sense. Given the reduced space within which to work, the design of the house means you'll find yourself in multiple dead ends, wandering back through rooms you've already been through and maybe even genuinely finding yourself a bit lost. Not only is it a fantastic use of the space but also adds an extra layer of peril, as if being ambushed by various poltergeist wasn't enough to keep you on your toes. Brilliant. 

Next up was Jinxed where we're invited to head backstage at a New Orleans Mardi Gras style carnival lead by Jinx himself: New Orlean's most terrifying jester! Look, I appreciate you have to give the people what they want, and for some reason for the most of the horror-loving Great British public what they want is scary clowns. Year in, year out, scary clowns, forever and always. But what I always love is when an attraction takes note of this, and makes sure they do something different with it so we're not just seeing the same old thing that's been done a hundred times before. The SCREAMS! team have delivered something unique in Jinxed: it's giving American Horror Story: Freak Show meets Mardi Gras and I am absolutely here for that in every way possible. 

The sets are gorgeous - really beautifully dressed with a vibrant Mardi Gras colour scheme that somehow never feels tacky. The creatures within are truly grotesque too - just when you think you've seen every scary clown mask going, here's SCREAMS! with faces and shapes I've never seen before. I really loved the classic 'freak side show poster' vinyls for the disorienting maze portion instead of the red and white flaps we're used to seeing. 

There's a ton of unusual shapes and use of space here too: one minute we're rounding an octagonal tent setup, next we're near enough scaling up the walls fun-house style. It's totally disorienting and once again, loads of fun to get lost inside - unhinged clown fun-house with a bit more grit and edge to it.

Which leads us nicely on to our finale horror maze of the night and arguably SCREAMS! masterpiece: the formidable Blackmarket. Even the name is terrifying - it's short, sharp and to the point, sinister but understated, revealing just enough to get your heart racing but holding enough cards close to its chest that you have literally no idea what's going to happen in there, only that it's going to be bad. 

Queueing for this thing and watching each person who enters before you pathetically turfed out the other end, a shell of their former self, is both excellent queueline entertainment and horrific foreshadowing. I could spend hours just hanging out at the exit to witness each person's reaction to what the hell just happened to them. 

Themed around the trade of human meat, Blackmarket takes us on a journey through a gritty underground rave that all goes a bit Hostel and we find ourselves bagged up, bound and dragged along an actual abbatoir conveyer belt, hands above head. Oh, and whilst all this is going on you're being mercilessly berated by the faceless goons inflicting this misery upon you. It's degrading, heart-palpatating stuff and something I've never before experienced in a horror maze, and something I was very excited to get to do given how rare it is these days for me to try something new in one of these things. 

For me it was 'extreme' in the right way - they leave you wandering aimlessly and then standing alone cluelessly just long enough for your heart to begin beating rapidly, palms sweating. It blurs the line between actual degradation and torture artfully - anything more and it would be too much for many to endure, anything less you'd be in the zone of overhype. It's a fantastic attraction, and one I feel everyone will be talking about with regards to scare season 2024. 

Devastatingly we completely missed the Pumpkin Patch, which anyone who knows me really stung once we'd left and its existence was brought to my attention as I'd have very much liked a moonlit wander through the haybales!

And that was it for our night at SCREAMS! Considering this is opening year of a new event started from scratch it's incredibly strong. What the team have achieved in just a year is nothing short of phenomenal work - three excellent, high quality mazes, all with a different flavour of fear to cater for all tastes. And from what I understand, this is just the beginning - I have high expectations for what we'll see next from the team at Thornton Hall but for now, if you haven't already please do try and squeeze in a visit to SCREAMS! this year before the event finishes on October 31st. Tickets are only £20 which is an absolute bargain in my opinion for some of the best and most innovative haunts I've seen in the UK this year.

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Have you visited SCREAMS! already this year? Or maybe you went to one of Thornton Hall's previous events like Screamfields? Let me know your thoughts in the comments, I'd like to have a chat!

Talk later xoxo,

Popping up every October at the National Forest Adventure Farm just outside of Burton-on-Trent in Staffordshire, Screamfest is a rustic, classic-style Halloween scream park hosting five themed scare mazes as well as interactive horror experiences, live music, rides, street entertainment and more. As with all of these events, there's only so many I can squeeze in every year so after a year away in 2023 I was very keen to get back to the farm to dive back into some old favourites but, most anticipatedly, to experience their brand new for 2024 maze: Hellcatraz.

We visited on a Thursday night, which I don't think I've done before and would absolutely be something I'd recommend. We had a fantastic time, the event was fully operational and we got to experience everything you'd get on a weekend visit but with a fraction of the crowds, meaning we could really take our time and soak it all in without feeling too pressured or overwhelmed to cram everything in. 

The event is quite 'extreme' in the vibe it creates: there's heavy dubstep playing, beers flowing, a street team of unhinged actors interjecting filth and jumpscares into conversations you're having as you gather with friends and terrifying jack-o-lantern scarecrows looming over you as escaped inmates cage dance in the background. Cosy, autumnal vibes this ain't, but if you're looking for something with a bit of edge Screamfest absolutely has you covered. 

The line-up was largely similar to my last visit to Screamfest back in 2022, so I'll link you to my thoughts on those here as my thoughts on these remain the same as not much, if anything, has changed in those attractions we've experienced before. Instead, I'm going to focus the bulk of my review on sharing my thoughts with you about the two new-for-me things we got to experience this time round.

As extraterrestrstrial beings escape from containment after 100 years, we must take up arms and join the operation to take out the threat and save the world. And by that I mean, get on a trailer hooked up with guns that's pulled along by a tractor and shoot the hell out of some 'aliens' with paintballs. And yes, it is as fun as it sounds. It's all very silly and camp - I loved the pre-show that took itself deadly seriously juxtaposed with the grand reveal of the tractor slowly lumbering around the corner.

We board, load up, and drive through several scenes with light 'apocalyptic' theming with barrels, corrugated iron and general debris for the 'aliens' to shield themselves with and let rip. The attraction is a £10 upcharge and I believe you get roughly 60 paintballs included with that, which you do get through very quickly if you're trigger happy and keen to void the world of the threat of alien scum like I am, but you can purchase refills live on board if you'd like to (believe me, you will want to). 

As silly and tongue-in-cheek as the whole setup was, this was just so much fun. I was a bit sceptical of the whole thing initially - it sounded faffy to me and I was also concerned at the ethics surrounding the premise of shooting painful paintballs at what I presumed would be teenage scare actors on minimum wage. But my fears were quickly quelled as the pre-show and loading onto the actual mission vehicle (tractor trailer) took about five minutes and I found out after-the-fact that we were indeed not shooting at reluctant scare actors but actually at members of a local rugby team who a) volunteered for this and b) absolutely love every second of it. So great, fun all round and something I'd highly recommend for the small upcharge!

Listen, if there was ever an attraction set up for failure with me personally, it was always going to be Hellcatraz. I mean, how dare you stand where she stood? And by she, I of course mean my beloved Love Hurts, my all time favourite scare mazes and one I've had a pretty intense connection with since the first time I darkened its doorways, and one I was devastated to see leave the line-up of Screamfest following my last visit in 2022. So with that in mind, please understand the significance intended when I say that Hellcatraz is a very worthy replacement. It is, by all definitions, excellent. 

In the early-to-mid 2010s, there was a shift in horror maze trends to the more extreme: of isolation, actors that could touch you, separate you, push you around and degrade you. In a post-Covid world, scare maze attraction design called for a bit of a rethink about getting up in people's grills: attitudes around hygiene and contact with others had been completely flipped on its head, and as such we saw that reflected in the types of haunts we saw in years to follow.

Coming out of Hellcatraz reminded me of coming out of those iconic Thorpe Park Fright Nights mazes like Experiment 10 or Cabin in the Woods at FRIGHT NIGHTS for the first time back in the 2010s. Not in look or theme or stylisation, but in how it made me feel. 'We are so BACK', as the kids say. It was weirdly nostalgic, I've not felt my heartbeat race or palms sweat like that in a very long time in one of these things, so kudos to Hellcatraz for illiciting that reaction from me because I am a dry old stone these days in that aspect. 

And on top of that...the thing is gorgeous? It's Hellraiser meets The Cube in terms of theming - gorgeous rusty tones drenched in blood-red lighting - I would absolutely loved to be able to have a quiet walk-through just to take it all in fully without demons ordering me around and marching me towards the exit. Its very intense, it's a feast for the eyes and is just generally a lot of fun if that's what you like in a horror maze like I do. I just wish we could live in a world where it could co-exist with Love Hurts because I think then I might never leave the event...

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All in all we had a brilliant evening at Screamfest Burton. As mentioned, I do try not to overdo it with visiting too often - absence makes the heart grow fonder and between waiting a year to visit again alongside the addition of Hellcatraz it was the perfect time to go back to what has always been one of my favourite Halloween scream parks here in the UK.

Have you visited Screamfest before? What's your favourite maze? Let me know in the comments, I'd love to have a chat!

Talk later xoxo,

After seven years in the making, in May 2024 Ireland's Emerald Park finally opened their beautiful new Tír na nÓg land expansion. Home to two Vekoma rollercoasters and a Zierer Waveswinger ride, the new land represents €22 million in investment to the ever-expanding sole theme park in Ireland, and as with every addition the park makes represents another step forward towards solidifying themselves as one of Europe's best smaller, regional theme parks.