Attraction Review: Parc Asterix

How do I keep ending up at bloody Parc Asterix?! Feel like I've been here loads in the past few years but never remember ever actually planning to visit, it always just kind of happens.

This time was a little bit different with not one but TWO creds to get. The first being the retrack of the relocated kiddie coaster (yes I'm a credit whore, but you already knew that) and the second being my much anticipated Pégase Express, the launched family Gerstlauer coaster that opened a few weeks earlier. I'd been following the construction of this new coaster intently so was super excited to ride!

So, one thing you need to know about Parc Asterix is that it's pretty much always rammed. And when you're stupid enough to visit on a weekend in July you're guaranteed to run into some crowds, and it was for that reason that we decided to bite the bullet and invest in some Pass Rapide to help us get maximum rides in, which we ended up being SO grateful for!

Anyway, knowing it was going to be heaving, we arrive at about 9.30AM, 30 mins before park opening, to be met with a huge queue to get into the park and horrendous drizzling rain. Yay! To be a theme park enthusiast haha! There's now even more security than there was before obviously due to recent events in paris and Europe but we got in relatively faff free. Honestly I was a bit gutted at the weather, I bloody HATE the rain and often finds it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

As it was pissing down and showing no signs of relenting we made a beeline for the amazing Transdemonium  which is an indoor ghost train/dark ride. I've gushed about how much I bloody love this ride on here before - imagine if Tim Burton and Don Bluth hooked up and made a dark ride and you'll get a pretty good idea. It also lives in another of my favourite themed areas in Europe which I'm going to call Burton-does-Medieval-land. It's fab and I could easily spend all day just wandering around here taking pics (if only the rain would let up!)

First coaster of the day was the HUGE Mack Bobsled Trace du Hourra themed to cave people. I'm not a fan of these coasters, I find the restraints super uncomfortable and Parc Asterix make you take your bag on the ride with you so I get extra anxious about it flying away half way around the track. At least it's substantial and we pretty much walked straight on!

Time to get the kiddie cred (actual +1 yay) out of the way. So, I quickly learner that Parc Asterix is a stupidly non-rain-friendly park and I stacked it on multiple occasions including getting into this coaster. Luckily I landed with my arse firmly planted in the seat of the coaster but realistically it could have been quite nasty! Stupid park.

Seeing as it was right there (and it's faaaab) we slithered into the Pass Rapide queue for the gorgeous B&M invert Oz'Iris. This coaster is in my top ten, mostly because it looks beautiful (I'm a sucker for an Egyptian theme) but also that zero-g rolls are just second to none! We nabbed back row and sadly it didn't pack as much of a punch as last time I rode. Not making any rash decisions and booting it from the Top 10 just yet but it's definitely now on the chopping block!

Grabbed an amazing carbonara from the pizza/pasta restaurant then grabbed a quick ride on the Mad House. I feel like this is one of many attractions at Asterix that would be better enjoyed if you speak more French than I do. The water room is obviously the best bit though (won't spoil it for you!)

Time now to nab the next cred on Pégase Express and once again making use of that Pass Rapide to get us straight on. Thoughts on this then: it's fine. Honestly, from all the pics and videos I was expecting something slightly more intense but for a family coaster this is more than substantial. It's really long, does so many different things (that I won't spoil here) and has lots of great bits of theming throughout including some special effects and cool projection mapping! Just wish it was about 10mph faster then I think I'd really love it (would probably also help if the weather weren't so miserable!)

Another bout of miserable rain meant I sheltered in the underpass whilst everyone else rode the DiskO. I'm NOT a fan of these, they make me feel sick and I hate the restraints - especially as 9 times out of 10 I'll be wearing a dress. Nope nope nope. Besides, Discobelix as this one is known is better enjoyed off ride anyway with all of the fire and water effects.

No trip to Asterix is complete without a ride on Zeus! I absolutely adore this coaster - I do think it's one of those that people mistakenly call rough when actually that's just how it was designed. It rattles your bones but it's by no means painful. The first drop weirdly always reminds me of Gwazi that used to operate at Busch Gardens Tampa. Annoyingly this was another one they force you to take your bag on so that worry did stop me fully embracing the terror of the coaster.

The sadists in our group decided it was time for a dose of pain so subjected themselves to the 45 minute queue for death and despair on Goudurix - Conor and I opted for the much more family friendly option of finally checking out the kiddie village whose name I can't remember. Conor grew up with the Asterix comics so recognised loads of the stuff here (went straight over my head tbh!) We also took a ride on the themed boat ride that was actually really impressive with loads of characters and special effects and projection mapping.

Storytime: I mentioned earlier the park was super slippery and wet because of the rain. I stacked it loads of times, but one particularly bad time I was minding my own business taking some snaps of the chute-the-chute when I slipped on a step and skidded on my arse down about 7/8 steps only to have Conor come rushing to my rescue! Naughty Asterix, luckily I'm a sprightly youth and can recover from things like this with just a giant bruise on my bum as a souvenir but others might not be so lucky. Something to look into for the future.

I'll give you some time to stop pissing yourself at the idea of me going arse over tit down a flight of stairs and wrap this trip report up then. We ended the day attempting to reride Oz'Iris only to bail on the 60 minutes queue, grab some sweets and merch and make our way to the ferry dock in Calais.

A fun trip to Asterix but not my favourite. The weather really does make a difference with things like this for me and we've often been very lucky in that aspect. That's not to say we didn't have fun - I've missed doing mad weekend trips like this and definitely need to get some more on the agenda for the future!

Talk later xoxo,