Blackpool Hen Weekend!

As much as I try where possible to go against the grain, I do kind of take delight in things that are soooo basic and trashy that they transcend tragedy and become fab, which is precisely why I decided to host my Hen Weekend in tacky old Blackpool!

Being me it offered everything - a theme park with a side of cheesy night out. Perfect! We jumped in the car on Friday and started the eye-watering 5 hour drive up north. Stopping for food on the way of course, and where better for a Hen Party to refuel than Hooters?! Yep, for those of you who didn't know, there is a Hooters in the UK and it lives in Nottingham. And yes, it's pretty much exactly the same as the US version. We inhaled some fabulous wings, collected our silly Hen Party hats courtesy of my mum and sister and continued on up.

We pulled into Blackpool at around 6PM, taking a lovely drive down the promenade to take in the sights first (OK...this may be because we got lost and were driving towards the wrong hotel but it was fun nonetheless). I STILL haven't done any of the Merlin stuff up here. I just always end up running out of time/being too hungover. I love the facade of Coral Island though, I'll ride the Ghost Train in there one day!

The first night was spent having a luau themed pyjama party and playing drinking games. We even had little inflatable flamingos and pineapples! Oh, and they put together little Hen Party kit bags including face masks, sweets, hangover survival kits and quiz cards. So, so cute, loved it!

Arose slightly hungover the next day, slapped some glitter on my eye bags and jumped in a cab towards the Pleasure Beach! It's not often I visit a theme park with non-enthusiasts so I was a little curious as to how this would play out and what everyone would make of this weird and wonderful park. We hit the park at 11AM, quickly found our way through security and joined the queue for the Grand National. Honestly, I was expecting the crowds to be a bit of a nightmare considering it was a Saturday in August but it wasn't much worse than when I've visited previously.

20 min queue for Nash and we were on. Sat close to the front in an attempt to keep pain at a minimum and it worked. There really is nothing like the rush of racing a coaster around that rickety old track and I was so glad to see everybody was enjoying themselves as much as I was! Fucking love Nash.

Next was a true test of endurance and we joined the queue for River Caves - arguably the most what the fuck ride left at the Pleasure Beach. Have to admit, everybody did come off this with a bit of a case of what the fuck was that, but I think it was in a good way!

We bypassed Infusion, obviously, and a few of us took a lap on the Big Dipper instead. Jesus Christ this thing absolutely battered me. Granted I was sitting in the back row, but it really did just fling me around and not in a good way. Was glad for it to pull onto the brake run to be honest. Felt sorry for those riding for the first time with me and just clinging on for life.

Attempted Wallace and Gromit next which I was super excited for everybody to ride but it was sadly broken down so we had Pizza the Ride instead. I've never eaten at the pizza/pasta buffet in the old Space Invaders building but it did the job nicely. Not a patch on the Merlin job and the staff were a bit gormless but I'll forgive them.

Bellies full of carbs, we decided to let that digest in the queue for The Big One. What the fuck is going on with this ride. We were making our way through the queue nicely when we noticed engineers faffing with sand bags. Every time the second train entered the station they took another row out with sandbags due to high winds. Jesus christ the faff! It was infuriating just standing in the station shed whilst they took their sweet time flinging sandbags onto more and more rows before eventually deciding the take the train off of the track. Luckily we got the last train before this happened so didn't have to endure being sat at 50ft whilst this happened, but my god. So annoying! Kind of put a bad taste on the ride to be honest as everyone was really fed up by the time we took our seats. Still got to watch everyone shit themselves on the first drop though so that was fun.

Steeplechase next! I rode with one of my best friends who swears she hates rides, so was fun to traumatise her on this. We also spent ages faffing in the queue to make sure we were racing and then they went ahead and dispatched us separately anyway womp womp.

Whilst we were queuing for this actually we got a good opportunity to perv over some Icon footers. I'm a bit of a bad coaster geek really, stuff like that doesn't really get my motor running in the same way something like actual track being assembled does, but fun to see nonetheless.

After lunch and The Big One faff time really did start getting away from us - we had to leave the 4.30PM but was fab to see that the park had extended opening to 8PM for those who were able to stay. We managed a round on Wallace and Gromit Thrill-O-Matic which everybody loved before rounding the day off on fabulous Valhalla.

This was the ride I was most excited for everybody to do together and had even bought myself a special vulgar poncho for the occasion. Because let's face it, Valhalla is the tits. One of the best dark rides/water rides in the country and you get absolutely drenched. I LOVE riding this with first timers and just watching their reaction as you get pounded with water. And the fire! The snow! The wind! Just, everything is ridiculous and fab. Yh, so...half of the effects weren't bloody working! All that hype, I was so sad. We still got twatted with waves left, right and centre but the snow room was just empty and half of the fire effects weren't on boooo! Sort it out Pleasure Beach, you made me look a right tit!

Turns out everybody loved it nonetheless so that was great. We rounded off our day in Blackpool with an evening at fabulous Funny Girls and dancing at Pop World.


They don't read my blog, but I can't thank everybody enough for all of the effort they put in to making this weekend unforgettable and for allowing me to share the delights of Blackpool with my nearest and dearest!

Roll on September 30th when I get to see them all again.

Talk later xoxox,