5 Big Rides I Wouldn't Miss If They Closed

As much as I am a theme park enthusiast and very much look for the good in everything, we all have our own personal tastes and I'm always interested to see how that taste comes into play with bigger coasters. Like, of course the cred hunter inside me dies a little with every Wacky Worm that closes its doors, but how does the closure, the knowledge that I will never again be able to ride this coaster, affect me when it comes to more substantial attractions? At this point in my 'coaster career' shall we say, I very much know what I like, I know my limits, and I know if something is going to be a 'one and done' (eg it served a purpose by letting me experience it once for the credit, but I shan't be riding it again for whatever reason). 

I wanted to explore some of the bigger coasters in the world in today's blog post that would get a resounding 'meh' from me if they closed forever. And to be clear, this list isn't about coasters I actively despise that would have me cheering from the rooftops if they closed, I mean major coasters that would basically have very little impact on me personally if/when they eventually shut their doors forever. This isn't a hate fest, it's a meh-fest. And of course, there will likely be some things on this list you don't agree with, and to that I say well duh, it's MY list, we're not going to 100% agree on everything, and if you DO happen to disagree, just leave a comment and we can have it out. 

I know, I know, how dare I. But look, it makes me feel sick, OK? And this is coming from someone who adores Kumba, a very similar coaster, so I don't actually know why that is but yh, it makes me want to hurl. I think Dragon Khan is just a *bit* too forceful for me, especially if you sit towards the back of the trains where the old gal is getting just a little bit on the rumbly side too. I last visited Port Aventura in 2017 I believe, and did not ride Khan the whole time we were there. I think it's photogenic and adds to that awesome skyline, and I love the Forbidden City theming in the area surrounding it, but let's be real, I'd much rather be riding Shambhala over and over again, that's just a fact. 


I've come to realise that whilst I love a launch coaster, I don't much care for coasters that just Sonic around. And by that I mean they GO FAST and don't really do much else? I think it's why Leviathan left me so cold, and similarly why Millennium Force really didn't do much for me even after multiple rides. If a coaster is going to go fast, I want it to DO something with that speed. Send me up a really tall top hat, throw me through some gnarly transitions or amazing airtime hills. Millennium Force just kind of...glides? And I get why people love that sensation but for me when you're that far off the ground you don't really get a good sense of speed and to me it can quite easily become dull. Again, I get that MF adds to Cedar Point's iconic skyline, but if the only reason I can think of to keep a coaster is an aesthetic one then something tells me I won't be shedding many tears if it ever closes. 


I'd always been told this was the worst of the B&M hypers and damn, people weren't wrong! It's such a shame because I love to ride coasters that have a terrible reputation and find something to enjoy in them, but Raging Bull is guilty of the worst crime of all - it's SO DULL. It's not really fast, it doesn't have smooth, cool transitions, it doesn't have airtime, it's just...so forgettable. Or it would be if I didn't remember it simply for being so damn boring. Any park with a B&M hyper coaster should do so proudly, and I feel like Six Flags Great America just kind of...brush Raging Bull away into a corner and try to forget it exists. And I wanted so hard for it to not suck!


Ah, another nauseating B&M sit down coaster! Hulk is an odd one for me because I remember going to Islands of Adventure for the first time in 2000 and Hulk being like, THE thing everybody wanted to go on. After seeing that iconic IoA skyline all over the holiday brochures, on TV in the Orlando adverts and across the walls of every travel agent in the high street, that first drop + cobra roll + vertical loop is burned into my brain, and when I first rode it it was indeed awesome. But, as I've gotten older, and as the storyline has changed a little, I feel like the overall impact of the thing has had the edges dulled a bit in terms of the narrative and subsequent adrenaline rush that came with the 'this time I think it's going to work!!' The first elements are still fun I guess but the second half is absolutely brutal, and given the choice between Hulk and Spiderman you KNOW Spidey is my ride of choice in Marvel Super Hero Island. Why couldn't it have been Hulk instead of my beloved Dragons!


So my two rides on Odyssey were about twelve years apart, and the resounding take away from both is that it bloody HURTS! We rode as close to the front as we could get on our recent trip and if front row can't save you, nothing can. The entire ride is just so awkward and head rattling that it's impossible to enjoy even ironically. It is such a shame, as as a park Fantasy Island has gone from strength to strength in recent years with some great investment, but I think Odyssey is beyond the park's help at this point - it's in the design and manufacturing of the ride and sadly no amount of sprucing their engineering team can do will help. An incredible coaster to behold, standing 167ft on the Skegness coastline but when it rides the way it does what's the point in preserving it save to sell a few more postcards? Bin it, and you'll find me riding Millennium Coaster instead. 

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Some dramatic skyline changes for sure if these big coasters went kaput, but would it make a dramatic difference to the enjoyment of my day at these parks? Unlikely. I feel they're the kind of coasters I would for sure skip if they were at my local parks, and I only make a point of riding them because they're not on my doorstep or I need the cred. 

What are some major coasters you wouldn't miss if they closed? Do all big coasters serve a purpose, even if they're kind of forgettable? Let me know in the comments, I'd love to have a chat!

Talk later xoxo,



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