Every UK 'Extreme' Coaster Ranked

Feel like I haven't done a good old fashioned ranking post in a hot minute so thought I'd do an extra tedious one on this chilly spring afternoon! I'm always a huge advocate for the fact that we have some pretty spectacular coasters here in the UK, even if some of them are getting on a bit now. I don't think though, in all my time of being an enthusiast, I've ever taken a real look at which UK coasters are indeed my favourites and how they rank against the rest of the 'big' coasters we have here. 

For clarity, I'm classifying 'extreme' coasters as per RCDB's definition. Just because that's easiest, not necessarily because I agree with their classification. So without further adieu, let's rank *checks list* 27 coasters, oh god why do I do this to myself...

27. Roller Coaster, Southport Pleasureland

So bottom of the list we have the first Pinfari Zyklon we'll be discussing today and that's Roller Coaster at Southport Pleasureland. As it's an 'off the shelf' type coaster there's not really any major differentiating reason as to why this one should be last other than I was excruciatingly hungover when I rode it, and therefore have nothing good to say about it. 

26. Looping Star, Clacton Pier

I actually rode this when it was at Codona's and I have zero memory of it. Which I've decided is slightly less worst that remembering it but being really hungover. So second last it goes. 

25. Crazy Loop, Brean Leisure Park

Oooh yes it's another Pinfari Zyklon, this time at sunny Brean! Bonus points because it's opposite a really cool Ghost Train. Next. 

24. Turbo, Brighton Pier

I've decided Turbo is the 'least bad' Pinfari Zyklon because for some reason it's an iconic UK coaster and appears in a lot of media and things. I guess because it's in Brighton and it's kind of Instagrammable. Haven't ridden it in years, probably won't ever again unless somebody is desperate for the +1 and needs a chaperone. 

23. Hero, Flamingoland

Bet you thought this would be last place didn't you! I actually don't HATE Volares as much as your average enthusiast, mostly because they're so bonkers and hateful that I think they're kind of fun. In a 'I want to die get me off of this immediately' kind of way. Also, cool funky lift-hill action!

22. Millennium, Fantasy Island

Look, aesthetically this thing is awesome. More lurid pink Vekoma track please. But to ride it's just kinda....boring? Lots of straight track with views of drunk people and seaside market? It's certainly unique in that aspect but it's not a coaster I want to ride over and over again purely because it doesn't really do much. Bonus points for not being painful. 

21. Kumali, Flamingoland

I don't know why I decided Kumali is so much worse than the other SLCs on this list because I haven't ridden it since....I want to say 2014, but I think it has something to do with it being at Flamingoland and the fact the ride hosts were rude to me. There's a grudge I didn't realise I still had. 

20. Wipeout, Pleasurewood Hills

I don't have anything against Wipeout or Vekoma Boomerangs in general. In fact I think they're quite fun. But, there are a lot of them and I have been on more than a few and the other coasters on this list are just better. Mental note to get back to Pleasurewood Hills soon, it's been too long. 

19. Revolution, Blackpool Pleasure Beach

Revolution is absolutely iconic and one of the coasters I knew a fair bit about before 'consciously' visiting the Pleasure Beach for the first time in the early 2010s (I say consciously because I know I went as a kid but I don't really remember it). It's an epic piece of machinery and the Pleasure Beach would undoubtedly be worse off without it, but it's just ever so slightly too intense for me (insert RCT joke here) - especially going backwards. 

18. Infusion, Blackpool Pleasure Beach

Infusion is a coaster I usually actively avoid at the Pleasure Beach, and that's usually because I'm hungover when I visit (I promise I don't have a drinking problem, it's just how these things go...) That said, if I were not feeling worse for wear and the queue wasn't too vile I would give it a ride. I like the waterfall features on some of the inversions. 

17. Mumbo Jumbo, Flamingoland

Firstly you have to make sure you say the name correctly in Yorkshire dialect (Moomberrr Joomberrr) to get the full effect. Secondly, this coaster is actually a lot of fun? Outward banks - fun! Beyond vertical drop - fun! Weird little inversions - fun! It's a fun coaster. Ok we've established that, moving on. 

16. Rage, Adventure Island

It pains me for Rage to be so low on this list considering the place Adventure Island holds in my Essex-girl heart (recent political unpleasantness aside) but unfortunately the fact is the rest of the coasters on this list are just...better than Rage. That's not to say Rage isn't good - it certainly is if you're partial to a Gerstlauer like I am! It's the perfect coaster for that park and I am here for the kitsch colour-scheme. 

15. Galactica, Alton Towers

I know, I know, it's a B&M but man I just really do not like the way forces feel on B&M flyers OK? I think I am one of very few people who actually really enjoyed the VR on Galactica, because the music is great and the visuals distracted me from the feeling but without that it's just not a comfy ride for me. Sorry Galactica, your portal and music are still cool!

14. Shockwave, Drayton Manor

Unlike many, I really enjoy the sensation of a stand-up coaster, and in my experience we're lucky here in the UK that Shockwave is actually one of the better ones! There's something about feeling the flex of the train in your knees as you go through the inversions that's so bizarre feeling to me, everything about it just feels completely alien and it's a sensation I think I'd rarely grow tired of.

13. Colossus, Thorpe Park 

Justice for Colossus - it's a great coaster. Landscaped to perfection, some really fun pops of airtime, excellent disorienting hangtime moments. Colossus's barrel rolls walked so RMC's zero-g stalls could run I SAID WHAT I SAID. Also the soundtrack is absolutely iconic. It's just got this weird rep for being rough and honestly after recently riding it a couple of times I can honestly say there's barely a rattle in it. Go ride Colossus and stop being babies. 

12. Icon, Blackpool Pleasure Beach

Urgh, don't force me to say nice things about Icon....but OK, despite the first launch being a little lacklustre that first airtime hill is super fun, the dive down into the second launch is awesome, especially at night with full fog and lights and all that jazz and the slow drawn out airtime pulling out of the Immelmann is great fun. 

11. Odyssey, Fantasy Island

I rode Odyssey last summer after a looooong hiatus and what can I say? It's an absolute beast. Definitely not the most comfortable or rerideable of coasters but it's got the intimidation factor down to a t and has this huge, swooping elements that undeniably leave it in the top end of this list. Underrated UK coaster for me. 

10. Speed: No Limits, Oakwood

Welcome to the top ten, kicking off with awesome little Gerstlauer Eurofighter Speed: No Limits found in deepest darkest Wales. This coaster is AWESOME! All the fun of a Gerst Eurofighter with none of the headbanging. There's no theming but what it lacks in that area it more than makes up for with fun, perfectly paced elements, the best moment of airtime in the UK and one intense helix. It's endlessly rerideable and more than deserves its spot here in the top ten. 

9. The Smiler, Alton Towers

Another coaster that has a bit of a negative reputation and not a coaster I can ride over and over again but I do have a soft spot for The Smiler, purely because it's absolutely unhinged. The swooping, diving loops, a huge mess of track as far as the eye can see, completely disorientation in both theme and layout and just a mind-boggling time from start to finish. Record-breaking and iconic. 

8. The Big One, Blackpool Pleasure Beach

There's something so British, so iconic, so...ridiculous and...camp? About The Big One? I find it really hard to explain but I feel like The Big One is the epitome of an end-of-the-pier Blackpool drag queen? It's loud, it's brash, it's probably not the most poised or dignified or refined coaster on this list but it's entertaining and unforgettable. And my ride on it last summer served some serious airtime. Oh, and that first drop is absolutely terrifying every single time without fail. 

7. Saw: The Ride, Thorpe Park

As a horror movie fan I'd be remiss not to include Saw in my top ten but I do genuinely love it. I adore the theming (obviously), it's a bit of a cult classic when it comes to British coasters at this point. I love the whole indoor dark ride bit, the indoor drop still kills me every time, the airtime hill is class and, despite the fact it does its best to kill you, the second half is just on the right side of wild. Fantastic coaster. 

6. RITA, Alton Towers

It's a well-known fact at this point that I am a sucker for a launch coaster, in particular a gut-wrenching old-school Intamin launch and boy does RITA deliver on that front. It's one of the fastest accelerating coasters in the world and you feel every inch of that force. There's airtime, there's snappy transitions, there's a weird non-sensical theme and a bizarre name. What's not to love?

5. The Swarm, Thorpe Park

As it goes, I don't actually love wing coasters, but The Swarm is the exception to that rule. Somehow it's gotten away with not developing that bounce the others seem to. The first drop inversion thing takes my breath away every time and the swoop up out of that and straight into a zero-g is coaster perfection in my book. It's a little short but the pacing is perfection and each element is balanced in terms of forces so that it's always just on the right side of intense to have me wanting to ride it over and over again. Plus, cool theming.

4. Nemesis Inferno, Thorpe Park

Ah, the 'other' Nemesis but by no means a coaster one should underestimate. I sometimes think it's a shame that Inferno is burdened with the Nemesis name because it will always draw comparisons, when really it's a world class coaster that can more than easily hold its own. It's a powerful little coaster, much more akin to its Batman counterparts than its northern namesake and in being so is a dramatic, intense and fierce little coaster that maybe deserves more praise than it receives. 

3. Oblivion, Alton Towers

It go down. It go down good. The end. 

2. Nemesis, Alton Towers

The OG, the queen, bow to her superiority, bathe in her majesty and ride her at every opportunity you have. Nemesis is legendary and iconic and for good reason. It's absolutely excellent and packs as much of a punch riding it now as it did the first time I can remember boarding it. Best ridden on a chilly October night when the air smells like scare maze fog. 

1. Stealth, Thorpe Park

Are you shocked? Anybody who knows me even a little bit knows my heart lies in Amity Speedway. I will never, ever forget my first ride on Stealth. The anticipation in the queueline, the fact I'd never ridden anything like this before, that feeling of pure adrenaline coursing through my veins when I got off it for the first time. It was an instant addiction, and I think one of the reasons my love for coasters perpetuated - always chasing that high!

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Ok good that's done. Now let us never speak of the list again. I joke, that was actually quite fun to write and I surprised myself where some of the coasters ended up being ranked! I don't expect you all to rank 27 coasters, but by all means be my guest if you'd like to give it a bash! Let me know your BOTTOM 5 coasters in the UK in the comments, because that's way more interesting than your top 5. 

Talk later xoxo,